In the upcoming weeks, I plan to follow Maggie Mason’s book in order to spice up my blog posts a bit.
I’m starting with #1 from the book, Reign supreme.
When I am queen, people will not be allowed to wear those cyborg cell phone ear pieces when they are not doing something that completely prevents them from using their hands to hold the damn cell phone to their ear. If you are not actually talking on the phone, the cyborg device must immediately be removed from your ear.
When I am queen, people will put ketchup, no mustard on hot dogs. Mustard is gross. If people must have mustard on their hot dogs, they will take care not to contaminate the ketchup pump with disgusting mustard. The same thing goes for the knives used at sandwich shops. Yuck.
When I am queen, the edge of the top sheet will always be folded neatly over the top of the duvet. In fact, the duvet cover and top sheet will have little snaps so that they stay together. I hate dangling top sheets.
When Evan is queen, people will always fully pronounce the word probably. People that say prolly or probly make Evan’s teeth hurt.
I’ll prolly think of some others later, but these are all the pet peeves I can think of right now.